ADRIAAAAAN!!

My Survey of Renaissance Art professor is the most insane and simultaneously entertaining person I have ever encountered in my life. She is about 4 feet tall, but commands instant respect because despite seeming a little bit like a kangaroo due to her hunched back and crazy eyes, everyone knows that she could verbally snap you in half if you piss her off….and MAN does that woman know her art history. I don’t know where she keeps all that information about who painted or sculpted what and when, what their favorite colors were and why they felt compelled to paint yet another picture of Jesus on the cross. All I know is that she knows it. Magical, really.

Probably the best thing about Adrian is how she speaks. This, unfortunately, I cannot relate via interweb. Just know that everything she says pushes 10 on the Dramatic Scale…in a way it seems like she puts a period at the end of every word to emphasize it: “…it. was. GROUNDBREAKING.” Additionally, she is technologically challenged and just recently discovered that cell phones have cameras in them, and THAT is why people are not allowed to have them anywhere near Michelangelo’s David. Hello, Adrian, this is the technology train and you missed it by like 10 years.

I have the midterm for her class on Tuesday and it is actually the only midterm that I cannot fake: naming images with the artist, name of the piece and approximate year isn’t really something I know how to BS, although I am comforted by the fact that I get a +/- 10 year window in the dates, so if I say 1450 for all of them the probability of fitting in that window is pretty good. Additionally, if I can’t think of the name of a piece I will again have a great chance of success if I title it “Madonna and Child” or “Madonna and Child with Saints.”

For being as innovative and groundbreaking as these artists were during the Renaissance, they were remarkably unoriginal in naming their pieces--can’t be good at everything, I guess.

I guess it’s time to go study…I fear the Adrian Wrath if I don’t pass this exam….even though she is literally half my height she could definitely take me down. I just can’t have that at this stage in the game.